It's been a long time eh. But this song has been bugging me since I first heard it a couple of days ago, so I want to share it with you guys:
I've not touched this almost-defunct blog since Christmas last year - that's 9 months now! Perhaps I was tired, from those few months of rushing out FYL (if you even still remember it, hurhur). Perhaps I was busy, applying for uni and working. Perhaps I was discouraged, from the lack of readership. Perhaps I lost faith, my lack of a daily connection with God resulting in the lack of motivation and content to contribute to this blog.
Well I'm going to be honest, and tell you that the first 3 reasons are mere excuses, and that the last reason was, and is, probably the biggest reason. I'm going to be honest and tell you that my spiritual life has been very bleak and dry in those months. But unlike my abandonment of this blog, God never abandoned me, nor will He abandon you.
You were reaching through the storm
Walking on the water
Even when I could not see
In the middle of it all
When I thought You were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me
Not for a moment did You forsake me
In case you're still in the dark about me, I graduated from poly last year in April, decided to take a break from studying, and decided to return to uni in 1 year's time. I didn't know which uni to join yet, because Singapore doesn't have a very good range of design degrees, so I just took things one step at a time. Finish with this 1 year break then say again, see how. And it was during this time amidst all the working and traveling that not only took me away from church, but that I started to lose sight of God.
April is the time when uni applications start to open, so when 4 months had passed since Christmas, I started to panic. I couldn't just "see how" and wait around anymore, and I considered going overseas to do my degree. When you have to make a big decision in life, most people turn to God for guidance; which I did, but I couldn't hear Him. So being the rational person I am, I went ahead and did some research, and 75% decided to apply to a Hong Kong uni which is famous for design. I didn't want to go overseas, but there was no choice considering the local design courses......
Anyway, I remember it was a Saturday afternoon (day off from working!) and I was at the uni's website searching for the application procedures, all set on applying already. My parents were watching the news in the living room, when one of them shouted (or said very loudly), "Ning, 有新的design course leh!"
To cut the long story short, that is how I eventually managed to be where I am now, doing a degree in Bachelor of Arts with Honours (Communication Design), the first batch in a newly set-up course. But what struck me was how 'coincidental' the timing was: At the point when I was close to deciding to go to Hong Kong (with much reluctance), God showed me another option. No, scratch that; at the point when I felt so far away from God (couldn't feel/hear Him at all!), He showed me that He was still with me. At the point when I felt that I was the last person He would want to help, He showed me that He had never forsaked me.
Every step, every breath, You are there
Every tear, every cry, every prayer
In my heart, at my worst
When my world falls down
Not for a moment will You forsake me
So yes, I am officially starting school tomorrow. So perhaps God sent me this song last week to bug me, not because of the awesome melody, but because I need to be reminded of how I even came to be in the first place. That despite my lack of drawing close to Him, He is still there waiting for me (you) to go back to Him. That after all, He has the blueprints of my (your) life, for He is the omni-present, powerful, sovereign God who is in control. That after all, He has - and will never - forsake me and you.
After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me
____________________________________
To read Meredith Andrew's story about writing this song, click
here.
Labels: A New Song, faith, strength
